- Working 12 - 15 hours a day doing home visits three or four nights a week
- Coaching 4-6th grade boys at the Youth Soccer League at school
- Going home every other weekend to see Uncle John who is now in a nursing home with cancer
Needless to say, I'm a little tired and a bit overwhelmed, but today was one for the books.
The morning begins with me not even wanting to get out of bed (for the first time since school started), and reluctantly coming in to work. At 7:43 I receive a call from the office stating that there is a parent in the office waiting for me. May I also add that this parent and I have had innumerable conversations and contacts about her daughter who, at the time being, is not making the most intelligent of decisions. These contacts have not all been favorable, and she is convinced my teaching partner and I are picking on her daughter.
She wanted to discuss an incident that happened on Friday, so I indulge her. The conversation quickly turned to attacking my teaching partner and I (again), which simply pushed me over the edge. I had had enough. I said to her all of those things I've wanted to say to her, including, but not limited to:
- I only believe about half of what my students tell me about their parents, perhaps you should reconsider what you're believing from your daughter
- I have 60 students under my care for 8 hours a day, if you think that I have the time and energy to pick on your daughter, you are absolutely wrong.
- If your daughter was making all the right decisions and there were no behavior issues in the classroom at all, we would not be standing here having this conversation.
- I understand that I teach urban students, that is exactly what I have been teaching since I started and exactly why I took this position in the first place.
Many of these were in direct response to things she said to me, including "I simply want the stigma that's on my daughter to be gone," "If you can't handle teaching 8th graders, perhaps you need to have a conversation with the director and try another area," "My daughter was coerced into writing her testimony through the threat of suspension and singling her out from the other students," etc, etc, etc. Needless to say, the conversation did not end well and I am seriously beginning to doubt whether or not I should have opened my mouth at all. After last year, I am so nervous about standing up for myself to a parent, however, I was simply through allowing her to walk all over me.
And yet, I am always shocked at how quickly the tides can turn. After school I visited a student's home who is severely special ed, and I have had a difficult time being patient with him over the course of the past few months. To be honest, I am not sure why this particular child has been so trying, I'm usually very good with my lower students. Yet this student . . .
I was a bit nervous about going to his house, as I did not think his mother spoke any English. Much to my surprise, it was actually pretty good. We started discussing this student and within 10 minutes she was in tears about how concerned she was regarding next year. She's a single mother, trying to raise three children and she really doesn't know how her oldest will make it through high school. I assured her that I understood, as I myself has a brother who is as low as her son is. Breaking into tears again, she began to thank me endlessly for helping her with her son and for really caring about him, as most schools just pushed him (and her) aside. Talk about guilt. I'm frustrated because he cannot focus for more than 30 seconds at a time, and she's ecstatic that someone actually cares. Confirmation #1 that I needed today.
Confirmation #2 came at my next home visit. I drive almost 3 miles and pull up to a very dark house, where an older woman answers the door. I am not even sure that I'm in the right place. She brings me inside and sits me down on the couch, all the while jabbering on in Spanish. Once she realizes that I cannot speak spanish she starts to slow down a bit and we have a very broken conversation, all the while I am desperately hoping that this is my student's house. After a few minutes, my student and his mom come tromping up the stairs - boy was I glad to see them! We have a wonderful conversation (the mother speakigng as much English as she can) and I ask them questions about his trophies, medals and soccer teams. About 30 minutes in, mom asks if I would like some arroz con leche (rice with milk), and before I know it I have a steaming mug of milk in front of me. Absolutely. Delicious. Too soon it is time to go and I stand to say my good-byes. The mother disappears and comes back with an entire cheesecake she has bought for me. Her son translates for her as she tells me how grateful she is that I have come to see them and are interested in her family. She is so thankful that I care for her son and have taken the time with him. Then she welcomes me back to their house at any time, to spend some time with their family. I fight the tears from my eyes. It was exactly what I needed.
I find that so often I get caught up in the negativity, and forget to look for the good things that happen. The stupid mothers will always be there and they will always have something to grumble about, but it's the ones who are grateful and happy that I should be focusing on.
